“Let me see you move!” he shouted with a warm, excited smile.

There was an unseen tug— something definitely took over me. Awkwardly, I rolled my arms like an old-fashioned person, spun, and did a quick one-two-step. He cheered me on. I laughed and went on to pick up my burger.

All the swirly chaos has kind of put me in this “out-of-body” experience. Like an IDGAF-my-body-will-do-what-it-wants. Maybe it’s more of an embodied kind of way. Instead of crying from the stress and pressures of life, my body just wants to let the mind pause and shake me into a whole being. Like humming/vagal toning at the bustling art book fair.

Were you that child who watched The Sound of Music and then ran outside to sing “Do Re Mi” into open air? My family had just migrated from the Philippines, staying with my aunt on her farm in rural New York. This was the late 90s. She was strict about TV— we could only watch after 7 p.m. if the adults weren’t already watching. There were other rules too, and I broke one: I got in trouble taking ice cream from the freezer without permission.

I was that child. Playfully dramatic, imaginative, needing to pretend. Out in those meadows I once watched a whole herd of deer prance across the far edge of the field, and I thought, of course.

In a restricted, disciplined life, I find the whimsical. I must.

After the LA Art Book Fair

I just want to say thank you for coming by my booth. It’s a fun time to meet and chat with new people and connect with artists, no matter how much of an introvert I am. I also gotta thank NG for feeding me and holding it down when I wandered around the fair for bit. And lastly, my neighbor, Trece Ojos, for the inspo and wonderful conversations.

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What’s next

A vodcast idea has been quietly collecting dust since 2024. I need to upload the remaining Memoriver Radio archives online. There might be a get-together in August (a sort of show-and-tell of your own art work—maybe a casual, intimate art show—I’m still thinking). I want to hike more. Camp again. I’m working on the second edition of Mountains. I’m joining a radio station (reviving an audio garden). Picking up the “day in the life of a friend” documentary. Resume the “archiving as ritual” guide. Stationery, calendar, and postcard-pack projects??? I really want to put together an in-person activity for materializing and archiving memory and attention. Idk if all of this will happen, but I even wrote a longer list from the burst of excitement.

I feel encouraged by the big change in my weekly schedule— to hypothesize and do hands-on creative research again. I just feel like I’m emerging out of a shell and into something else, and idk what that is. I might just dance again on the street.

Sincerely,

Stepfanie

It’s beautiful chaos. I’m hoping my voice will survive tomorrow. This morning, I woke up FATIGUED. Felt it everywhere. Each day has been different. It’s like dancing all night, having fun, but the body is running low on energy but you wanna keep dancing.

If you’re thinking about something to do on Sunday, would you like to come by? It’s free admission. The fair itself can be overwhelming, so take your time browsing through a book. I’ve noticed some people wear earbuds— easy for me to identify if you don’t feel like conversing. I respect that. Even I was so overstimulated that my friend asked if I was humming (meditative om kind), and I didn’t realize I was doing it. She joined me. We even harmonized. Is this what we call vagal toning?

If you come by my table, you’ll see a couple of new zines and my new artist book, Desert Haze. My friend NG is also exhibiting her work at the table. My colleague’s zine is there too. I’m also collecting written notes from people about rest. My neighboring press, Trece Ojos (traveling from Mexico City), suggested that I open up one of my journals and invite people to respond via writing. It’s been a delight.

See you soon.

Sincerely,

Foggy-brained Stepfanie

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Memoriver Radio is an audio zine that drifts from place to place. It's part radio art, part ephemeral archive, community-centered, offering a floating recording space for sharing stories, dreams, poems, sound experiments, or spontaneous interviews. Each session becomes part of a living, sonic tapestry--an informal oral history shaped by those who pass through.

*This episode includes field recordings from public gatherings where background music may be present. Music was not selected or added by the project’s artist.

Memoriver Radio is a pop-up radio booth where you can take the mic and share your dreams/poetry/calls-to-action, interview your friend, and make sound collages.

Recorded in June 2024 at School for the Ecocene’s Confluence.